Best of Dance Studio

Man's Greatest Fear

Man's Greatest Fear -- The Dance Floor!

By Randy Pittman, President of Best of Dance Studio and the Miami Dance Machine

Q: Why is the dance floor man’s greatest fear?

A: Simple: WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE.

Q: Why do we not know how to dance?

A: Simple: No one ever taught us!

Man will scale the highest mountains
Explore the deepest oceans
We’ve flown man to the moon
But master the dance floor, never!!!

The dance floor is man’s greatest fear; the humiliation and embarrassment in our minds is just too great, so we prefer to just avoid the issue.

Ask most men if they take their wives or girlfriends out dancing and they’ll usually say no. They don't like to dance. The truth is we don't know how to dance and we fear the dance floor more than the dentist. We prefer to say we don't like to dance. It’s easier on our egos.

Throughout our education we've been taught to read and write, to add and subtract, to draw straight and curved lines. They taught us handball, basketball, football, and baseball, but nowhere has anyone taught us to dance. Right about now, some teachers are saying, Aah, yes we did. We provided after-school ballroom dance classes!

Well, if you made Math and English an after-school class, no one would ever learn to read, write, add or subtract.

Have you ever noticed that there is a time in everyone's life when we all dance at the drop of a hat? We’ve all seen cute babies, both boys and girls, whenever they hear music just start dancing, or should I say that they jump up and down and enjoy the feelings that music naturally gives to us all. Unfortunately, that natural inclination to dance does not last a lifetime.

In elementary school there were no school dances. I vaguely remember being shown how to square dance. It was a very short program, only one week long if I remember right.

When I got to Junior High, we learned that there was a school dance. At that time I wanted to learn how to dance. We were learning many other things in school, and there wasn't a fear of dancing yet.

This story will now date me. When I was in Jr. High the most popular teen TV show was Gidget and their school dance was coming up. One of the boys wanted to learn how to dance, so Gidget agreed to teach him if he would fix her car. The TV stations were cruel to us young boys that week. They announced that upcoming episode every single day for the entire week. The show finally started. The boy crawled under Gidget’s car. Gidget turned on the radio with some dance music on. Gidget’s friend started wiggling his feet and she exclaimed, AAh, I thought that you didn't know how to dance. I don’t, he replied. Well, said Gidget, do the same thing standing on your feet that you’re doing lying on your back, and you’re dancing! THAT WAS THE LESSON! My friends and I were completely disappointed, as this was not the dance lesson we were hoping for.

This short story will try to present, what the boys put themselves thru, what causes us to have a fear of dance. I have to step out of sequence for this next tale.

I was working at Arthur Murray's Studio. One day a couple came to learn how to dance. They were gym teachers at one of the local public schools. Their job description also said that they were responsible for teaching dancing. The problem they had was the same problem that faces everybody at one time or another in their lives. They didn't know how to dance. Few people do, because there has never been a complete program to teach people to dance. Outside of the franchised dance schools and some of the independent dance schools, there is no real program that teaches popular social dancing. The gym teachers wanted us to teach them how to dance and how to teach their students to dance.

Let’s get back to my junior high dance experience. Before the school dance, our school came to the rescue. They were having one of their famous after-school dance classes. After all, they were the ones responsible for our education and for preparing the students to face the world to come. We rushed to our after-school dance class. The teachers sat the boys on one side of the gym and the girls on the other side. They then demonstrated what little they knew about dancing and told the boys to walk across the gym floor and ask the girls to dance.

Please!!! It is hard enough to get the boys to talk to the girls, now they wanted us to walk across the minefield, torn between worrying about our pimples and whether or not the girls would say yes. You have no idea of the torture boys suffer mentally with regard to dancing. This was begging the boys to become self-conscious and afraid of dancing.

Finally we began to muddle through the class. The music started and they played Tommy Dorsey, Glenn Miller, Harry James. This was not the music that would be played at the school dance or music that we could appreciate learning to dance to. Nobody learned anything.

So, after that disastrous start filled with a boring music and horrifying confrontations with the female gender, I vowed never to embarrass myself again in relation to dancing. We only learned how to be more afraid of dancing than ever before. I never went back, and neither did any of my friends. Thank God there was only one dance a year in Jr. High School.

Now came High School. How did we meet the girls? THE SCHOOL DANCES!!! Oh my God, and look how many dances they had. Now I HAD to learn to dance. Here we go again! Where could we learn to dance? I watched American Bandstand every Saturday, and practiced every move I could copy. The dancing that I did as a teenager consisted of jumping up and down, acting like an animal, or like I was having an epileptic seizure. They called that dancing? There wasn't one basic step such as in the salsa, hustle or other structured dances.

At the dances very few of the boys asked the girls to dance. Most people just stood around. Boys talking to the boys and girls talking to girls. What were they talking about? The girls wanted the boys to ask them to dance, and the boys were trying to get the courage to talk to the girls except that we knew if we talked to them, we would be expected to ask them to dance.

No way, Jose! The boys did not want to dance. We didn’t know how. I have to tell you a secret… as for the girls, they too wanted to talk, socialize and meet boys but the dancing stood between us.

We finally finished our high school years. THE DANCING WAS OVER. Time to get on with life. You went straight to work, and at the end of the week if you wanted to meet some girls or if you had a girlfriend, guess what they wanted to do on the weekends? Go to a party! What would you find at that party? Exactly! Music and a dance floor, and guess what your girlfriend wanted to do? DANCE, DANCE AND DANCE!!!

Some of us went on to college, and you know about the parties and dances that go on there. That horrible creature of dance just seem to follow us everywhere we went.

Now that we had finished our schooling, it was time to start our careers. It didn’t matter if you worked in construction, in the hospitals, or in an office. Every Christmas there was the dreaded Holiday Party! And it was not only at your work but all your friends invited you to their parties too.

Gentlemen, tell me if this saying from your girlfriend or wife sounds familiar; Honey, you work all year with these guys, don't you think you could spend a little time with me? You could ask me to dance. Why do you have to go stand with the boys and drink? Girls, the reason the men stay away from you and knock down a few drinks is to avoid asking you to dance, or having you ask them.

What is the first thing that men do after they get a divorce or break up with their girlfriends? They go to a club or to a singles dance to meet someone new. On more than one occasion the divorced partners will meet each other out at the dances and lounges trying to meet that new person.

I wish that was the end, but it isn't. We work hard and after a little success, we find that we need to give a little money to charity. Some well-meaning friend tells you that if you’re going to give your money to charity, to at least give it at a benefit. You’ll receive a nice dinner and a little entertainment to boot. Little did you know that after dinner and some entertainment, there it is again The dance floor, a band, and your wife or girlfriend wanting you to hold her in your arms and make her feel special. Guys, the girls don't care how well you do or don't dance, they just want the man they love to hold them in their arms and tell them you love them and sway to the music ON THE DANCE FLOOR. They don't think that is asking too much. They have no idea of the great fear and resentment we have built up in regard to dancing. Guess what? It still isn't over. Let us not forget the birthdays, barmitzvahs and weddings that we are invited to. THE DANCE FLOOR IS OUR WORST SOCIAL ENEMY.

In school we learned to read, write, add and subtract. They taught us how to play football, baseball, basketball, handball and many other types of physical activities. How many of us ever play these games after our school years? Don't you think that after all the different social events that we go to that have a dance floor and a band, that learning to dance in school would be more beneficial in the long term than football, baseball or gymnastics?

That is not to say that we should not learn these sports, but I do think that we are missing out on teaching something very important to our children; something of everlasting usefulness and good, clean, healthy fun. There is a great necessity to add teaching of popular social dancing to our education system.

In my early twenties my mother starting taking lessons at Fred Astaire Dance Studios. One day she invited me to a guest party. Of course, I said NO! Unfortunately, Mom was persistent, and she begged. I said NO! She pleaded. I said NO! She then tried to explain that if I would take this guest special for $5.00, she would get a free lesson. With the cost of a dance lesson in 1974 being $35.00 per hour she would save $30.00 and I would get 4 2 hour private dance lessons free. I SAID NO!!!

Mom had no idea of the fear of dance that had built up inside of me. Then, she got nasty and threatened me. Whenever I needed money, I would offer Mom my 1957 Chevy two-door Bel-Aire Coupe for collateral. When I refused to give in to all her begging, she had the audacity to ask for the title and the car, or the money that I owed her unless I went to the guest party with her. (Keep in mind my collector’s item ‘57 Chevy was on blocks and didn’t even run.) So, needless to say, I had to agree to go with her.

Mom came over to take me to the party. I told her I wanted to take my own car, I said I might want to leave early. I followed mom to Fred Astaire’s parking lot. When she turned in, my sweaty palms and frozen muscles could not follow her in, I just kept driving, straight past the studio. My fear of dance would not allow me to go to the party and start learning to dance. Needless to say, Mom was mad and gave up on the idea of getting me to the dance studio.

Eventually, I was able to overcome my fear of dancing and the nightmare that plagued my early life. It wasn’t easy. About two months after the fiasco with my mother, I was watching Wolf Man Jack’s Friday Night Special. That week he had two Arthur Murray dancers perform a hustle-bump-swing. They were not Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly or Donald O’Connor, or any other professional dancer. They were just two normal, everyday people that learned to dance at Arthur Murray’s. I couldn’t believe it! I watched with amazement, and the next day I was at Arthur Murray’s learning to dance. That was in Colorado Springs , Colorado . Five years later I met that same couple that I saw on TV in a disco contest in Miami , FL , and me and my partner won the dance contest. I have not stopped dancing since that day.


	Man's Greatest Fear Man's Greatest Fear -- The Dance Floor! By Randy Pittman, President of Best of Dance Studio and the Miami Dance Machine Q: Why is the dance floor man’s greatest fear? A: Simple: WE DON'T KNOW HOW TO DANCE. Q: Why do we not know how to dance? A: Simple: No one ever taught us! Man will scale the highest mountains Explore the deepest oceans We’ve flown man to the moon But master the dance floor, never!!! The dance floor is man’s greatest fear; the humiliation and embarrassment in our minds is just too great, so we prefer to just avoid the issue. Ask most men if they take their wives or girlfriends out dancing and they’ll usually say no. They don't like to dance. The truth is we don't know how to dance and we fear the dance floor more than the dentist. We prefer to say we don't like to dance. It’s easier on our egos. Throughout our education we've been taught to read and write, to add and subtract, to draw straight and curved lines. They taught us handball, basketball, football, and baseball, but nowhere has anyone taught us to dance. Right about now, some teachers are saying, Aah, yes we did. We provided after-school ballroom dance classes! Well, if you made Math and English an after-school class, no one would ever learn to read, write, add or subtract. Have you ever noticed that there is a time in everyone's life when we all dance at the drop of a hat? We’ve all seen cute babies, both boys and girls, whenever they hear music just start dancing, or should I say that they jump up and down and enjoy the feelings that music naturally gives to us all. Unfortunately, that natural inclination to dance does not last a lifetime. In elementary school there were no school dances. I vaguely remember being shown how to square dance. It was a very short program, only one week long if I remember right. When I got to Junior High, we learned that there was a school dance. At that time I wanted to learn how to dance. We were learning many other things in school, and there wasn't a fear of dancing yet. This story will now date me. When I was in Jr. High the most popular teen TV show was Gidget and their school dance was coming up. One of the boys wanted to learn how to dance, so Gidget agreed to teach him if he would fix her car. The TV stations were cruel to us young boys that week. They announced that upcoming episode every single day for the entire week. The show finally started. The boy crawled under Gidget’s car. Gidget turned on the radio with some dance music on. Gidget’s friend started wiggling his feet and she exclaimed, AAh, I thought that you didn't know how to dance. I don’t, he replied. Well, said Gidget, do the same thing standing on your feet that you’re doing lying on your back, and you’re dancing! THAT WAS THE LESSON! My friends and I were completely disappointed, as this was not the dance lesson we were hoping for. This short story will try to present, what the boys put themselves thru, what causes us to have a fear of dance. I have to step out of sequence for this next tale. I was working at Arthur Murray's Studio. One day a couple came to learn how to dance. They were gym teachers at one of the local public schools. Their job description also said that they were responsible for teaching dancing. The problem they had was the same problem that faces everybody at one time or another in their lives. They didn't know how to dance. Few people do, because there has never been a complete program to teach people to dance. Outside of the franchised dance schools and some of the independent dance schools, there is no real program that teaches popular social dancing. The gym teachers wanted us to teach them how to dance and how to teach their students to dance. Let’s get back to my junior high dance experience. Before the school dance, our school came to the rescue. They were having one of their famous after-school dance classes. After all, they were the ones responsible for our education and for preparing the students to face the world to come. We rushed to our after-school dance class. The teachers sat the boys on one side of the gym and the girls on the other side. They then demonstrated what little they knew about dancing and told the boys to walk across the gym floor and ask the girls to dance. Please!!! It is hard enough to get the boys to talk to the girls, now they wanted us to walk across the minefield, torn between worrying about our pimples and whether or not the girls would say yes. You have no idea of the torture boys suffer mentally with regard to dancing. This was begging the boys to become self-conscious and afraid of dancing. Finally we began to muddle through the class. The music started and they played Tommy Dorsey, Glenn Miller, Harry James. This was not the music that would be played at the school dance or music that we could appreciate learning to dance to. Nobody learned anything. So, after that disastrous start filled with a boring music and horrifying confrontations with the female gender, I vowed never to embarrass myself again in relation to dancing. We only learned how to be more afraid of dancing than ever before. I never went back, and neither did any of my friends. Thank God there was only one dance a year in Jr. High School. Now came High School. How did we meet the girls? THE SCHOOL DANCES!!! Oh my God, and look how many dances they had. Now I HAD to learn to dance. Here we go again! Where could we learn to dance? I watched American Bandstand every Saturday, and practiced every move I could copy. The dancing that I did as a teenager consisted of jumping up and down, acting like an animal, or like I was having an epileptic seizure. They called that dancing? There wasn't one basic step such as in the salsa, hustle or other structured dances. At the dances very few of the boys asked the girls to dance. Most people just stood around. Boys talking to the boys and girls talking to girls. What were they talking about? The girls wanted the boys to ask them to dance, and the boys were trying to get the courage to talk to the girls except that we knew if we talked to them, we would be expected to ask them to dance. No way, Jose! The boys did not want to dance. We didn’t know how. I have to tell you a secret… as for the girls, they too wanted to talk, socialize and meet boys but the dancing stood between us. We finally finished our high school years. THE DANCING WAS OVER. Time to get on with life. You went straight to work, and at the end of the week if you wanted to meet some girls or if you had a girlfriend, guess what they wanted to do on the weekends? Go to a party! What would you find at that party? Exactly! Music and a dance floor, and guess what your girlfriend wanted to do? DANCE, DANCE AND DANCE!!! Some of us went on to college, and you know about the parties and dances that go on there. That horrible creature of dance just seem to follow us everywhere we went. Now that we had finished our schooling, it was time to start our careers. It didn’t matter if you worked in construction, in the hospitals, or in an office. Every Christmas there was the dreaded Holiday Party! And it was not only at your work but all your friends invited you to their parties too. Gentlemen, tell me if this saying from your girlfriend or wife sounds familiar; Honey, you work all year with these guys, don't you think you could spend a little time with me? You could ask me to dance. Why do you have to go stand with the boys and drink? Girls, the reason the men stay away from you and knock down a few drinks is to avoid asking you to dance, or having you ask them. What is the first thing that men do after they get a divorce or break up with their girlfriends? They go to a club or to a singles dance to meet someone new. On more than one occasion the divorced partners will meet each other out at the dances and lounges trying to meet that new person. I wish that was the end, but it isn't. We work hard and after a little success, we find that we need to give a little money to charity. Some well-meaning friend tells you that if you’re going to give your money to charity, to at least give it at a benefit. You’ll receive a nice dinner and a little entertainment to boot. Little did you know that after dinner and some entertainment, there it is again The dance floor, a band, and your wife or girlfriend wanting you to hold her in your arms and make her feel special. Guys, the girls don't care how well you do or don't dance, they just want the man they love to hold them in their arms and tell them you love them and sway to the music ON THE DANCE FLOOR. They don't think that is asking too much. They have no idea of the great fear and resentment we have built up in regard to dancing. Guess what? It still isn't over. Let us not forget the birthdays, barmitzvahs and weddings that we are invited to. THE DANCE FLOOR IS OUR WORST SOCIAL ENEMY. In school we learned to read, write, add and subtract. They taught us how to play football, baseball, basketball, handball and many other types of physical activities. How many of us ever play these games after our school years? Don't you think that after all the different social events that we go to that have a dance floor and a band, that learning to dance in school would be more beneficial in the long term than football, baseball or gymnastics? That is not to say that we should not learn these sports, but I do think that we are missing out on teaching something very important to our children; something of everlasting usefulness and good, clean, healthy fun. There is a great necessity to add teaching of popular social dancing to our education system. In my early twenties my mother starting taking lessons at Fred Astaire Dance Studios. One day she invited me to a guest party. Of course, I said NO! Unfortunately, Mom was persistent, and she begged. I said NO! She pleaded. I said NO! She then tried to explain that if I would take this guest special for $5.00, she would get a free lesson. With the cost of a dance lesson in 1974 being $35.00 per hour she would save $30.00 and I would get 4 2 hour private dance lessons free. I SAID NO!!! Mom had no idea of the fear of dance that had built up inside of me. Then, she got nasty and threatened me. Whenever I needed money, I would offer Mom my 1957 Chevy two-door Bel-Aire Coupe for collateral. When I refused to give in to all her begging, she had the audacity to ask for the title and the car, or the money that I owed her unless I went to the guest party with her. (Keep in mind my collector’s item ‘57 Chevy was on blocks and didn’t even run.) So, needless to say, I had to agree to go with her. Mom came over to take me to the party. I told her I wanted to take my own car, I said I might want to leave early. I followed mom to Fred Astaire’s parking lot. When she turned in, my sweaty palms and frozen muscles could not follow her in, I just kept driving, straight past the studio. My fear of dance would not allow me to go to the party and start learning to dance. Needless to say, Mom was mad and gave up on the idea of getting me to the dance studio. Eventually, I was able to overcome my fear of dancing and the nightmare that plagued my early life. It wasn’t easy. About two months after the fiasco with my mother, I was watching Wolf Man Jack’s Friday Night Special. That week he had two Arthur Murray dancers perform a hustle-bump-swing. They were not Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly or Donald O’Connor, or any other professional dancer. They were just two normal, everyday people that learned to dance at Arthur Murray’s. I couldn’t believe it! I watched with amazement, and the next day I was at Arthur Murray’s learning to dance. That was in Colorado Springs , Colorado . Five years later I met that same couple that I saw on TV in a disco contest in Miami , FL , and me and my partner won the dance contest. I have not stopped dancing since that day.

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